


Best Of Me.

by Gio_hannigram



Series: Nigels gifts [6]
Category: Hannibal (TV), Spacedogs - Fandom
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Nigel-centric, Short One Shot, i think, past homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-19 23:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13134645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gio_hannigram/pseuds/Gio_hannigram
Summary: “Thanks, I will.” Taking the folder from Adam, Nigel leaned in, gave him a quick peck on the lips, and rushed out.It wasn’t until he was in front of his client and licked his lips to start talking that he remembered he had kissed his roommate.He had kissed Adam.Oh no.





	Best Of Me.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [supastag (findo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/findo/gifts).



> Merry Christmas!
> 
> Nigel! Merry Christmas! I fucking love you!
> 
> Huge thanks to [Kateera](http://kateera.tumblr.com/) for editing this!

Nigel rushed through the flat, taking his bag off the couch and barely saving Adam’s phone from hitting the floor since it had been under his bag.   


“You’re going to be late.” Adam walked out of his room, his messy hair making Nigel’s chest ache. Adam’s work was in the afternoon so he could sleep in without trouble. Nigel felt a bit jealous about that.

“I know Gorgeous, I know.” Nigel threw his phone and charger in his bag then took an energy drink, expertly avoiding Adam’s pout about his nickname and walked towards the door.   
  
“I’ll hopefully be back for Stargate, but if not I’ll send you a message,” Nigel reminded Adam over his shoulder as he opened the door.   


“Nigel.” Looking back, Nigel facepalmed at the sight of Adam holding his work folder. “Nigel, take a deep breath that always helps me.”

“Thanks, I will.” Taking the folder from Adam, Nigel leaned in, gave him a quick peck on the lips, and rushed out.   
  
It wasn’t until he was in front of his client and licked his lips to start talking that he remembered he had kissed his roommate.   
  
He had kissed Adam.   
  
_ Oh no. _   
  
Nigel was an idiot.   
  
He was very close to punching himself in the face. It was one of those moments in life where he wasn’t sure if crying or laughing would be better. Both, probably.   


He always took pride in his sharp mind. Now here he sat in his office with a dry throat and stomachache, staring at the beautiful view of California as the sunset reminded him of how he was running out of time.   


_ I’m not heterosexual. _   
  
Adam said it once, only once, but it didn’t matter to Nigel. It keep echoing in the back of his mind.   


It had been a miracle that Nigel’s ass didn’t end up in the floor when the clarification made him misstep on the stairs towards their room. It had happened half a year ago and after that. Nigel’s life had been an endlessly circle of may or may not along with an existential crisis. First there was the realisation and guilt for what he had once said and done, then there was that new interest crawling in his skin.

_ I want you to know. _   
  
How could he miss that? Of course Adam told him for a different reason than Nigel thought, of course he didn’t just randomly say it either. Adam always threw random trivia at him out of the blue, but that, that had been different and Nigel had done nothing.

Not that he would have done anything at the time. Looking back, that was probably for the best because he was still an arse back then   
He had been a homophobic prick for long while. He was not the type to regret things, there was not point on it. All he could do was overcome or try to fix whatever it was he had done wrong. If there was a thing he did regret, it was calling their landlord a faggot, only to get that disappointed look from Adam. At the time he had acted like he didn’t care, and truthfully at the time he didn’t, not much anyway. Now though, now he wished he could go back and slap himself.

Adam had kept walking beside him in silence for a few minutes. Once they reached their flat, he started talking about the building and when Nigel looked at him, Adam only smiled at him, looked away, and moved on.

It had taken months worth of cold walks in the hills, marathons of Stargate, and enough mac & cheese to drown himself in for Adam to feel comfortable enough to look him in the eye again.

A while after the landlord incident, Adam told Nigel while they walked the same stairs that he wasn’t heterosexual, and unsaid were the other meanings.    
  
It made a certain sense to hear that Adam wasn't heterosexual. It made sense that he would care beyond that, there were so many other and more important factors at play for Adam to get interested in someone, but he had just assumed that Adam was straight, like so many others   


Nigel might have been thinking about Adam's reveal more often than was probably polite, but he made sure that it didn't affect anything on the outside. He didn’t want a repeat of Adam’s cold shoulder for being rude to their landlord.   
  
Of course, on the inside Nigel was affected, mainly because it was the first time he was scowled at with a smile and it had hurt worse than a punch to the guts. Months later he understood why. Now after those words, he knew better and he had changed a lot.

It had taken a while to accept that he had feelings for Adam and then there were the weeks confronting  _ himself _ .   
How long had he downgraded, humiliated, and joked using homophobic slurs?   
  
How long had he felt repulsion?   
  
Once his internal panicking stopped, which was admittedly a relief after having spent months worrying about it, all that was left was deciding if he was ready to go forward.   
  
Now here he was, with the perfect opportunity to do something about it.   
  
A few minutes more passed and Nigel’s annoyance increaced.   
  
“Oh fuck it.”   
  
That was it, wasn’t it?   
  
If Adam was mad about the kiss he could apologize, it sure would hurt to confirm if he had read Adam wrong all this time. If he wasn’t, well, the best he could do was to stop overthinking and go with it.    
  
If Adam felt as he did, there was no problem.   
__  
_ It wasn’t a problem. _ __  
  
He was changing, and yes, he still needed to hold his tongue from saying some stupid shit at times, but he was trying and calling himself out to correct it.   
  
Whenever he thought about it, he was in wonder of how much he was changing, how much Adam made him think and reevaluate his behaviour.   
  
The drive home was a rush of adrenaline and he felt nervous for the first time in years.   
  
Nigel took a deep breath and walked into the flat ready for best or worst.   
  
Adam was on the couch and the moment he looked at Nigel, he flinched.   
  
Nigel walked towards him feeling knot in his throat about to choke him.   
  
He couldn’t believe he was like this.   
  
Was he truly going to say the words he had repeated to himself a million times out loud?   
  
Nigel opened his mouth but Adam stood up.   
  
“I’m sorry.” Adam looked at him as if he was scared.   
  
“What for?” Nigel frowned. Was Adam scared of Nigel getting mad at him for rejecting him? So maybe he had read him wrong.   
  
“The kiss Nigel, I know you are heterosexual. I’m sorry.”   
  
Nigel stood there with his mouth half open and confused until it hit him.   
  
“Adam, I kissed you.”  Nigel gestured between them.   
  
Silence filled the space between them.    
  
Adam frowned, then gestured back between them.   
  
“Really?” Adam asked baffled.   
  
“Yes.” Nigel smiled.   
  
“I wasn’t fully awake and I couldn’t tell when I remembered.” Nigel took Adam’s hands to calm him down.    
  


“I thought you were disgusted.” Adam was unaware of how much he changed Nigel.    
Well, he’ll show him.   
  
“People change, find things about themselves they didn’t let themselves think about. I changed. I want to keep the change,” Nigel said.   
  
Adam smiled and nodded, closing the distance between them.   
  
The kiss had a small touch of hesitation so Nigel tried to give Adam the same confiance he had given him and deeped it.

  
Nigel pulled back, watching Adam's flushed face with adoration.   
  
“I know you changed. I noticed that you didn’t make those jokes anymore and how you behaved. But there’s a difference between that and wanting... and I wasn’t sure.” Adam hugged him.   
  
Nigel hugged him back.    
  
There was a long way to go but they were in the right path.   
  
“Gorgeous, you get the best of me.”   


**Author's Note:**

> So please just don't leave me...
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
